Childhood + quiet Liaohe - Chapter 65:
My father led me back to my home in the provincial capital like an escort prisoner. I was immersed in the total despair of losing my aunt and the little stone who had just been born. I fell into a bottomless abyss, and my depression could not be accurately described by words.
My mind completely broke down, dementia, whether it is day or night, I curled up in the bed I tossed about one after another, the face that I did not clean for several days was facing the pale ceiling, my eyes full of mucus staring at the bright fluorescent tubes without blinking, smoking spicy cigars one by one, and the dark bedroom will always be covered In the thick fog of smoke.
A week later, Dad packed up his bags and went out of the house mumbling. From then on, he plunged into the depths of Changbai Mountain and didn’t see him again for half a year. Maybe he lost his way when he was searching for a mine in the deep mountains and forests, so he couldn’t walk out of the big forest that covered the sky and the sun?
But the elder sister, is far away in the South thousands of miles away, alone guarding the cold window.
In this way, only my mother and I were left at home.
Every day after work, my mother put down her small bag, patiently persuades me, while taking off the thick, cold-air-conditioned coat, until there is only a thin, fragrant smell of underwear, twisting the big buttocks, wandering aimlessly in each room. After a routine inspection, my mother ran straight to my bed Shop, fat big buttocks thump on the soft mattress, fat fat will press the bed board creak.
My mother stretched out her fleshy palm, lifted my head, and affectionately placed it on her sexy, slightly hot, fat leg. She gently pulled out the cigarette butt from my mouth and threw it in the ashtray: “eldest son, don’t smoke any more. Look, this room is going to turn you into a gas chamber!”
With that, my mother hugged my cheek, lowered her head, opened her hot mouth, and, as in those days, coaxed a child to kiss my face full of acne due to pain and irritability.
As soon as I was close to my mother’s red lips, I would take the opportunity to stretch out the tip of my tongue and shake it in my mother’s warm mouth. I put my pillow on the back of my mother’s fat leg and pressed it down deliberately. I tried to feel the soft and slight heat of my mother’s body. I had just thrown away the cigarette butts and the thick yellow fingers Quietly scraping my mother’s big milk still standing aloof.
The chicken that has been oppressed for a long time in the crotch stands up with a bang, producing a kind of primitive desire that can’t be discharged.
“The eldest son,”
My shrewd mother had already noticed my actions, but my mother didn’t have any disgust, let alone to rub her fat legs with the back of my head and scrape her milk with my fingers.
My mother kisses me for a long time. Then, she slowly raises her head and stares at my yellow fingers in front of her breasts: “look, eldest son, how many cigarettes do you have to smoke this day? Your fingers are yellow. Don’t smoke any more. It will damage the lungs. Cheer up, don’t always think about your shameless old man Gu La, the eldest son
when I heard my mother’s words, I suddenly sank my face and snorted coldly. I pushed my mother away and once again dived my head into the sweating quilt corner. My mother stopped talking and didn’t dare to mention me and my aunt again. She raised her head and said timidly, “get up, my eldest son, and your mother will fry some dishes for you…”
“Well, I don’t eat it!”
“The eldest son, get up, mom will make you delicious food, listen to mom, get up and eat!”
With that, my mother simply tidied up some messy underwear that I scraped. She stood up and saw two big buttocks wiggle, and mom’s plump body slipped into the kitchen. Soon, the sound of frying pan came from the kitchen.
“Dang Dang Dang”
every evening is the golden time for me to drink alcohol. When the wall clock bangs seven times, and I am listless and in a trance during the day, suddenly a carp stands up, leaps up, grabs the glass bottle with some liquor on the dining table and gulps it up.
my mother happened to come into the room from the kitchen. She saw it in her eyes and worried about her heart. First she blinked her eyes, then she reluctantly slapped her tongue. But she didn’t dare to say a word of opposition or touch my glass: “son, don’t, don’t drink like this, son. Drinking on an empty stomach will damage your health, son, ……”
I gulped down a large gulp of strong liquor, and the spirit of burning heart and lung was burning in my body, which was so burning that I would pour all my resentment on my innocent mother without reservation, as if all this was made by my mother.
Holding the bottle, I yelled at my mother with a red head and a swollen face: “don’t talk nonsense. I’d like to drink it to death. I’ll live long enough!”
my mother was silent and patient. It seemed that I had no fault at all. On the contrary, she had committed a heinous crime.
Hearing my roar, my mother forced to pile up a bitter smile: “son, if you want to drink, you have to wait for a while, and wait for your mother to stir fry the vegetables, and then drink slowly!”
With that, mom turned back to the kitchen, and after a while, she walked to the table with the hot and fragrant dishes.
However, the bottle in my hand had been unable to pour out a drop of wine. My mother muttered to herself, “my God, the eldest son, mother bought a bottle of white wine in the morning, and you will drink it all in one day!”
“Hum, buy it for me, and I want to drink it!”
I threw the empty bottle on the floor: “why, if you don’t drink it, you can’t drink it. Buy it for me quickly. I want to drink it, and I want to drink it!…”
my mother put down the dish, put on the coat and walked out of the door. Soon she took back a bottle of bright and Zheng wine bottle and shook it in front of my eyes with joy: “son, here you are, mother has bought you a bottle of good wine!”
I took the bottle from my mother’s hand. Since I came back home, I have always treated my mother’s care and tolerance with such an extremely indifferent attitude. I never gave my mother even a smile, even when I kiss and tease my mother unkindly.
When I opened the bottle cap, my mother courteously pushed the dishes in front of me. I picked up a piece of meat in an absent-minded way: “ah, ma – what kind of crap do you stir up? Well, I won’t eat any more!”
“Ouch, ouch, look at me, you forgot to put the MSG in.”
mom picked up the dish and went back to the kitchen.
Under my mother’s ardent gaze, I gulp into the stomach crazy liquor.
“Don’t drink it, son.”
my mother didn’t dare to stop me from drinking crazily. In order to transfer my interest in alcohol, my mother brought a basin of foot washing water: “don’t drink it, you’d like to drink it tomorrow, eldest son. It’s late. Wash your feet and go to bed!”
I put down the bottle and stretched out my feet. My mother immediately grabbed my feet like an old slave and put them into the hot water basin.
I suddenly shrieked: “Hey, this water is too hot, ma – you want to burn me to death!”
in fact, the water temperature is not as high as I said, which is very suitable for washing feet. Listening to my unreasonable voice, my mother was like an old servant who worked hard and said obediently: “ah, my mother may be busy and forget to add some cold water Son, “
” hum, I don’t want to wash it. “
I kicked the water basin to the ground, and the hot water splashed on my mother’s clean underwear. My mother stood up and looked at me blankly. I suddenly felt that I had done too much.
Looking at it, her mother’s face gradually showed an embarrassed and aggrieved color. She saw her thin lips tremble slightly, and a string of aggrieved sour tears trickled out of her beautiful eyes: “eldest son, how can mother do it, just be right, eh — eh –”
P > “come on, come on.”
I waved to my mother who was wiping tears: “go, go, sleep in your sleep.”
my mother could no longer restrain her grievances. Her body, which was full of water drops, collapsed to me. I had not yet fully recovered. My mother put her arms around my shoulders, and tears of grievance were pouring out like a sluice gate. “EH – EH – EH – Yi – eldest son, please spare your mother, eldest son, give it to your mother Mother a smile bar, the eldest son, the mother is sincere love you, pain you, eldest son, mother can’t do without you, eldest son, in the future, mother all depends on you! Looking at my crying mother, I suddenly found that my mother was really selfish. She didn’t love anyone, even her own daughter, my sister.
However, for me, my mother is devoted to selfless love, which may be another manifestation of selfishness, but in any case, my mother loves me, which is undeniable.
Thinking of this, I put out my hand and wiped the tears on my mother’s cheek: “Mom, I’m wrong, I’m sorry for you, I,…”
mom was even more grieved. She sobbed and nagged bitterly: “EH – EH – it was instilled by your grandmother’s family. They didn’t have good intentions. They tried to stir up the relationship between us. Mom knew better than anyone else. Behind their backs, they talked bad things about their mother, so that you could hate your mother and alienate her—— This turtle calf family! EH — eh — “
shrewd, shrewd and cunning, my mother didn’t guess anything wrong. As soon as I got to my grandmother’s house, I didn’t mention my mother. As soon as I mentioned my mother, all the people in the granny’s family, except for my grandfather, all of them showed a look of disdain on their faces. Then, they yelled at me:” hum, xiaolizi, your mom, it’s so simple It’s not a man
“Your mother, that evil spirit, is really hard to find in the sky and on the ground!”
“Your mother is the most snobbish. She looks up at her eyes. She doesn’t pay attention to those who are useless. When she sees who is useful to her, she immediately pastes it forward! Your mother knows this best when she is a queen. If she becomes a queen, she will be a hundred times more fierce than the queen mother of the West
My grandmother, uncle and aunt’s words, which were either practical, or seriously exaggerated, or extremely derogatory and sarcastic, were deeply rooted in my childhood heart, which made me shake like a strong shock when I was infatuated with my mother’s emotional pure love and mother’s physical instinct, and my mother used her own actions, or more or less These words, which made me feel embarrassed and angry, became a powerful catalyst and spread into my childhood heart. As a result, the bud of my mother’s prejudice grew up at an astonishing speed.
From my grandmother’s home back to the army, this period is not long, but it is the period of my character, I hate my mother to the extreme, everything against my mother, deliberately with my mother.
between thinking, my palm accidentally touched my mother’s wet underwear, I gently scratched a few times, and said with concern: “Mom, your clothes are wet, quickly change it!”
when I reached out to unbutton her dress button, my mother immediately stopped snorting and covered the corner of my buttonhole which was undone by me in a hurry. Her face was red and she tried her best to cover up the indistinct crispy milk.
The soft light on the ceiling, warm and overflowing on the mother’s towering chest, a half naked breast reflects the charming white light, I hold my breath and stare, staring, staring, staring, I immediately want to blood boiling, the strong love of my mother’s body in childhood, in this moment, irresistible again burst out of infatuation In addition to the burning of strong alcohol, the fire of the fans, with a whoop, blazed up.
“Ma Ma –”
I was dazzled, and my voice was hoarse and trembling. A big hot palm stretched into my mother’s underwear recklessly. I reluctantly held a crisp milk that had nurtured me and given me infinite love: “Ma Ma Ma”
my mother was at a loss, when I couldn’t When I grabbed her milk, my mother suddenly calmed me down and let me touch her breast at will: “Er Zi –”
P > my mother’s voice trembled and trembled: “Er Zi you know, it’s my mother’s smack that feeds you one mouthful at a time, When you were very young, your mother held you in her arms. You were licking your head and swallowing in your stomach, blinking at your mother.
That is how happy ah, at that time, you will always be in mother’s arms, no one will snatch you from mother’s hand.
But now Well, son, you know what?
Whenever you fight with your mother, when she thinks of these things, she will cry in tears. Oh, how good the past was, son. If you never grow up, it would be great. EH – EH – “Ma – MA -” I hold my mother’s milk and rub it excitedly. When I heard her sincere exclamation, my head tilted and I fell on my mother Mom, do you think I want to grow up?
I don’t want to grow up. When I grow up, there are too many troubles and troubles. Mom, I will always lie in my mother’s arms and suck my mother’s smack head forever!
“Er Zi -” my mother put one arm around my head, the other hand held her nipple, and put it into my mouth affectionately:
“Er Zi eat it, eh — EH -” I opened my mouth wildly, and impolitely held on to my mother’s long red nipple, and began to lick and suck.